I’ve been Sober For 1000 Days… Here’s Why My Sobriety Feels More Meaningful Than Ever
This milestone of 1000 days of sobriety feels bigger and more meaningful than any other. I’m finally standing still long enough to truly reflect on what a brilliant achievement this is and allowing myself to bask in the glory of what it has meant to me - and all those around me - to have achieved 1000 days AF.
I’ve reflected on what my life would be like now if I hadn’t made that decision, 1000 days ago, to say goodbye to the booze and bravely step into the unknown. Was I scared? Hell yes, I was terrified. It was like having to learn how to do life all over again. In fact, it was like having to learn how to be ME all over again.
But there was something inside letting me know it would all be okay.
I just knew - without a doubt - that this was going to be the start of the rest of my life. You see, alcohol had slowly but surely crept up, in that sneaky way it does, to having a role in my life where it was taking way more than it was giving.
At 43 years old I was tired, unfulfilled, hangovers lasted much longer and the impact on my mental health was becoming more and more obvious. I was getting more and more blackouts, I was having conversations in my head (way too often) about whether I was or wasn’t allowed a drink that night and always making (and breaking) rules around my drinking. Hair of the dog became my go-to hangover cure and I had a deep, unsettling feeling that life was passing me by and I wasn’t in control.
I’ll never know what life would have been like if I hadn’t made that decision 1000 days ago, but I do know my life wouldn’t look anything like it does today. In fact, I suspect that not much would have changed. I would likely still be living in a vicious cycle of boozing, regretting, abstaining, moderating and then boozing again.
I’ve been asked a lot about my reflections on 1000 days sober. Here’s what’s come up for me.
1. We are conditioned to believe that we must be an ‘alcoholic’ to stop drinking.
So much so that we live for so long in silent shame, berating ourselves that it’s OUR fault we can’t moderate and thinking there is something wrong with us. Culture and society play such a big role in this. When really, it’s just about asking yourself ‘Is alcohol serving me, is having alcohol in my life adding or taking away, do I like who I am when I drink or the day after I’ve been drinking?’ If the answer is No to any of these questions then IT’S OK to stop. If we realized gluten wasn’t serving us anymore and made us feel bloated and disgusting and tired and unwell we would stop in a heartbeat. Why don’t we feel the same about alcohol?
2. Alcohol keeps our world small.
We stay stuck in old patterns and behaviours and it’s impossible to change them when we’re still drinking. So nothing changes. It’s a viscous cycle and we stay doing the same things, no matter how unhappy they make us, because we don’t have the motivation, clarity, confidence, energy or knowledge on how to change them. All the people I know who have removed alcohol and done the deeper work of self-growth have gone on to make changes and ultimately create meaningful and fulfilling lives. The ONE change of removing alcohol is the catalyst to SO MUCH change.
3. There is so much we aren’t told about alcohol.
I heard recently that in the UK, if everyone drank at the recommended 14 units a week, the UK alcohol industry would lose BILLIONS a year. Any wonder we aren’t told all the true facts about what alcohol is doing to us?
4. Trying to heal yourself while drinking is like trying to heal a broken ankle but still going for a run every day.
We can’t do the deeper work of healing, self-growth and personal development if we are pissed, hungover or a mix of the two. It always astounds me just how many of my clients are on medication for mental health concerns yet their healthcare professional has never questioned their alcohol consumption. We don’t have to be drinking two bottles of wine a night for alcohol to affect our mood, anxiety and propensity for depression. A glass or two of wine a few times a week will do that. Yet the first thing that could be done to help so many people (advising they take a break from alcohol and connecting them to people who can help them) is rarely done. Why? And when will this change?
5. Most people look at taking a break from alcohol as ‘giving up’ something and don’t look at what they can gain.
On the first day of my alcohol-free program I always suggest my clients get really clear on what they are gaining. That’s the beginning of changing your mindset around alcohol and the role it plays in our lives.
The other most important reminder is that 1000 days is achieved by all the thousands of times of simply making a choice. Choosing, in that moment, not to drink. It’s all those individual decisions, to move towards the person I wanted to be. Some decisions were easy, others were so unbelievably hard I had to leave the room, go home, cry, scream, shout and rant in that moment, do everything I could and dig oh-so deep to not make the decision to pick up the drink. Because alcohol is everywhere. But I did. One decision at a time. And so can you.
Much love,
xx Sarah
P. S. If you need help changing your relationship with alcohol in a safe and supported way contact me here or check out my online programs here. For more on grey area drinking, go here.
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