8 Signs You’re A Grey Area Drinker – And What To Do About It
How do you know if you’re a grey area drinker – and what to do next? It takes a moment of reflection to truly look at your relationship with alcohol. How complicated is it - and what is it taking away? For me, I was always a binge drinker and found moderation impossible. I used alcohol as my one and only tool to deal with life’s challenges – stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom.
I didn’t realise alcohol was sending my anxiety through the roof and eroding my inner worth and confidence. I was living a dual life – half kale- eating yogi and half binge drinker. I was always flipping between the two, exhausted, guilty, full of shame and self-loathing.
I know now that I was a grey area drinker. Not at rock bottom, in fact, externally functioning well at life – but alcohol was taking away FAR more than it was giving back. Are you a grey area drinker? If yes, here are some tips on what to do next.
Here are eight signs you might be a Grey Area Drinker
1. You make rules about your drinking, and often break them.
You have strict rules you set each week about your drinking (only after 5pm, not on a Monday or Tuesday, only 2 glasses, not at home on your own, only with food, no spirits during the week, only at lunchtime on weekends), but you often break them and ALWAYS find a justifiable reason to do so (it’s a birthday, I’ve had a hard day, I’m on holiday, I’m really stressed, I deserve it). You are constantly thinking about your drinking and setting rules that you feel make it ‘acceptable’ but you find these rules impossible to stick to.
2. You secretly worry, fret and regret.
You may wake up at 3am with your heart racing as you try to recollect what you said or did the night before. The worry that you did something shameful is overwhelming. You may use alcohol to then ‘take the edge off’ your anxiety the following day but it makes it worse (it’s a vicious cycle).
3. You’re all or nothing.
You may swear off alcohol altogether and go on an extreme detox plan. You may attempt to have one glass of wine but finish the bottle. You are all in - or all out. Nothing feels moderate or in control when you start drinking.
4. You find it hard to stay sober for long periods.
You may swear off alcohol ‘forever’ after an especially shameful night or a whopping hangover but three days pass and you are back to drinking. Drinking has become a ‘relationship’ you can’t get out of – even though deep down you may know you need to quit entirely.
5. How much you ACTUALLY drink is a secret.
Only you know the extent of your drinking and how much you have. You may lie about how many drinks you’ve had or hide empty bottles. You may hide alcohol in the house or have a secret stash to ‘top up’ between regular social drinking.
6. Your drinking doesn’t look THAT much of a problem.
You may have a reputation as a party girl – but that’s what everyone loves about you. It might go too far at times but not many people think it’s a problem. You appear to ‘let your hair down’ at events but most people don’t see it as an issue. To the outside world, you appear ‘fine’.
7. You live with a constant internal ‘chatter’ about alcohol.
It’s like there are two voices in your head. The one that wants you to be sober (because remember what happened last time you drank?) and the one that wants you to ‘live a little’. You hear a constant chatter between them and this internal battle goes on, and on.
8. You’re a long way from rock bottom but alcohol feels like it’s robbing you of life.
There’s a feeling inside that even though alcohol isn’t destroying your life, you know it’s taking things away. That might be inner contentment or self-worth. It might be confidence and pride. It might be energy, or being present with your kids. You know it’s taking up space in your mind - and your life.
What to do when you’re a Grey Area Drinker?
1. Find support.
Grey area drinking may be a new term in Australia but it’s extremely common. You’re not alone and there is so much support online. Check out my Facebook group The Women’s Wellbeing Collective. Enlist support from friends, family and new connections online.
2. Decide what you want.
When you reach for wine, what are you ACTUALLY reaching for? Comfort? Peace? Rest? Connection? Decide what it is you want and need and find it elsewhere. Start to give your mind, body and soul what it ACTUALLY NEEDS.
3. Take a break.
Take a break from drinking and really do the deeper work to explore your relationship with alcohol, accept if moderation will never be an option for you, consider what is available to you when you do stop drinking and make a list of all the benefits.
4. Know you are gaining – not losing.
When you quit alcohol you may feel like you are ‘giving something away’ or losing something. Think about what you are ADDING to life. Clarity, confidence, inner peace. Then start adding more. A fitness plan, new hobby, new friends. Keep adding to your life!
Remember, grey area drinking is common and complicated. I’m here to help. Check out my coaching packages and I’ll support you every step of the way.
xx Sarah
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