The Top 5 Triggers (And How to Navigate Them) as We Head into the Festive Season

As the festive season gets closer, many women are confronted by triggers that make staying alcohol-free especially challenging. The stretch from Christmas through New Year’s is filled with unique pressures - whether it's reconnecting with old friends or managing family dynamics, the temptation to drink can feel overwhelming. Here’s a look at five common triggers during this time and effective strategies to navigate them...

1. Catching Up with Old Friends Who Have Strong Alcohol Associations

The holidays often mean reunions with old friends, and for many, these friendships are linked with drinking rituals. Research shows peer influence plays a significant role in drinking behaviours, with social norms and habits developed among friends carrying a strong influence over time. For many of us, we don’t do anything but drink with certain old friends over Christmas.

How to Navigate This Trigger:

• Set Boundaries

  Be proactive about suggesting alcohol-free catch ups. Meeting for coffee, a walk, or breakfast can help create new, healthier associations with these relationships.
  

• Bring Your Own
  If you’re going to an event with friends where you know alcohol will be everywhere, take your own alcohol-free drinks. Studies show that having a similar-looking drink can reduce social pressure (and anxiety!) and of course lessen the likelihood of being repeatedly offered alcohol.
  

• Stand Your Ground
  Be prepared to assertively but briefly explain your choice to avoid alcohol. A simple, “I’m taking a break from drinking” is usually enough and allows you to maintain control over your choice. Keep it simple, brief, and stand your ground. In my book Beyond Booze, How to Create A Life You Love Alcohol Free I’ve devoted an entire chapter to navigating our relationships and friendships when you’re sober. Check it out here.
  
  

2. Faded Affect Bias: “I Wasn’t That Bad!”

Faded Affect Bias (FAB) is a cognitive bias where negative emotions associated with past events fade more quickly than positive ones. During the holidays, this can lead to downplaying the shame or guilt over past drinking experiences, along with hangovers and regrettable behaviour.

How to Navigate This Trigger:

• Play It Forward
  Consider how you felt the morning after Christmas events in years gone by. Studies show that women who visualise potential outcomes are better able to make healthier decisions. Reflect on past hangovers and remember that waking up refreshed feels so much better than struggling through the day.
  

• Keep a list
  Keep a list of all the benefits you have noticed from periods of being alcohol-free in your life. Keep checking back on your list when FAB sets in. Remind yourself you have more energy, are calmer with your kids, feel less anxious and more positive.
  
  

3. “But It’s Christmas!”

One of the most powerful triggers is the idea that “it’s Christmas” - a season where indulgence is encouraged. From ads showing clinking glasses of champagne to family traditions that include copious amounts of booze, the holiday messaging is strong. This social pressure is often amplified by family and friends who don’t understand the choice to abstain.

How to Navigate This Trigger:

• Focus on the Gains
  Research tells us positive framing can significantly increase resilience. Instead of seeing sobriety as missing out, focus on the benefits you gain - better health, clarity, and more meaningful connections. Not to mention that jumping-out-of-bed energy to truly enjoy your holiday!
  

• Plan Activities that Don’t Involve Alcohol
  Suggest alternatives like cooking, outdoor activities, or watching Christmas movies.
  

• Check in with yourself
  Think about how you want to FEEL this Christmas - tired, anxious, hungover, and bloated, probably isn't on top of your list. Get really clear with how alcohol makes you feel and keep that list handy as a reminder.
  

4. “I’ll Just Drink Through the Christmas to New Year’s Week”

The week between Christmas and New Years can feel like a limbo period where typical routines are paused, making it easy to slip into daily drinking. This period is often seen as an extension of the holiday spirit, contributing to a “why not?” mentality. Then we spiral.

How to Navigate This Trigger:

• Set Mini Goals
  Studies indicate that goal setting can effectively increase motivation and reduce impulsivity. Set small, daily goals for the week, such as staying hydrated, exercising, or accomplishing a task each day. These goals help maintain structure and a sense of purpose.
  

• Practice Mindfulness
  Research shows that mindfulness can significantly reduce cravings by focusing on the present moment without judgment. Take time each day to reflect, journal, or practice breathing exercises to manage stress and reset intentions.
  

• Celebrate Without Alcohol
  Remind yourself that festivities don’t need to include alcohol. Plan a special dinner, take a day trip, or engage in a hobby you love to capture the holiday spirit in ways that don’t involve drinking.
  
  

5. “My Family is Driving Me Crazy!”

Family dynamics can be one of the most difficult aspects of the holidays. According to studies, family stress is one of the leading reasons people drink alcohol during holiday gatherings! Trying to manage differing opinions, expectations, and pressures can be overwhelming.

How to Navigate This Trigger:

• Create a Buffer
  If interactions with certain family members tend to be stressful, take breaks. Excuse yourself for a walk, listen to music, or take time to yourself to reset.
  

• Establish Boundaries
  Know that it’s okay to set emotional or conversational boundaries. Politely steer conversations away from topics that cause stress, and if necessary, plan an “escape” time to leave the gathering.
  

• Find a Support Person
  Identifying someone who understands your commitment to staying alcohol-free can be incredibly helpful. Reach out to a friend for a quick chat or keep a group message going with others who are also navigating a sober holiday season.
  

• Stress relief toolkit
  Have a toolkit of stress busters that feel right for you. One of my favourites is this 20 min yoga nidra: https://insighttimer.com/thestillpoint/guided-meditations/yoga-nidra-for-relaxation. Or, try 6 rounds of box breathing: - https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321805.
  
  Try to book in some time to yourself - a massage, reflexology, sauna, exercise class, go to bed early and make sure you're getting enough sleep. My book Beyond Booze How to Create a Life You Love Alcohol-Free has lots of tips for managing stress without drinking.
  

Those Christmas cravings…

To minimise cravings, eat well, get enough sleep, exercise, and do not skip taking time out for yourself (no matter how busy you get!). We are far more likely to crave alcohol if we are tired, stressed, and eating a lot of processed food. If the festive season makes you nervous and your sobriety is at risk, don’t abandon your routines. A healthy morning routine that includes exercise and journaling is especially important to set you up for the day.

A joyful, healthy, and best-ever festive season is achievable with the right strategies and mindset. Remember that while drinking triggers will pop up, each one is an opportunity to flex your sober muscle and build your resilience. Join my free Facebook community The Women’s Wellbeing Collective for a safe and supportive community. You can grab of copy of my book Beyond Booze How to Create a Life You Love Alcohol Free here.

If you’d like to change your relationship with alcohol, join my 30-Day Alcohol-Free Challenge. We kick off in January 2025. It’s 30 days of education, tools and resources, guest experts, daily accountability, coaching, community, and support. Find out more here.

In our next post, we'll explore how to survive the office Christmas party sober. Don't miss it!