The Text Every Woman Deserves to Receive on Day One

If I could send a text message back to myself on Day One, it would not be long or complicated. It would simply be a reminder that everything was going to be okay, even though at the time it felt anything but okay.

The text would simply say:

Hey, you've got this.

I would send it to the version of me sitting on the couch at the end of another day, exhausted from thinking about alcohol, worrying about alcohol, promising myself I would drink less and then wondering why I kept ending up back in the same place. I would send it to the woman who knew something needed to change but felt overwhelmed by the thought of what that change might mean.

At the time, I genuinely could not imagine a life without alcohol in it. It seemed to be woven through everything. It was there when I wanted to celebrate, when I wanted to relax, when I was stressed, when I was socialising and when I simply wanted a break from the constant demands of life. The idea of removing it felt less like making a positive decision and more like losing something important.

Looking back now, with 900 alcohol free days just around the corner, I wish I could tell that woman that she was not about to lose her life. She was about to get it back.

I know that sounds dramatic, but it is the truth.

What I could not see then was that so much of my energy was being spent thinking about drinking, recovering from drinking, regretting drinking or trying to control drinking. Even on the days when alcohol was not causing obvious problems, it was still taking up far more space in my life than I realised.

If I could send that text today, I would tell her that the freedom she was searching for was never at the bottom of a wine glass. The peace she wanted, the confidence she wanted, the sense of being comfortable in her own skin that she was looking for, were not things alcohol was providing. They were things alcohol was getting in the way of.

I would tell her that there will be difficult days ahead because change is difficult and because doing something different in a culture that normalises drinking at every turn can feel incredibly lonely at times. There will be moments when everyone else seems to be drinking without a second thought and she will wonder why it feels so hard for her. There will be evenings when the voice in her head tells her that one drink would be easier, that nobody would know, and that perhaps she has made this whole thing bigger than it needs to be.

But I would also tell her about the mornings.

I would tell her about waking up clear-headed and calm instead of anxious and disappointed. I would tell her about the relief of not replaying conversations from the night before and wondering what she said or how she behaved. I would tell her about the growing sense of pride that comes from keeping a promise to yourself, especially when nobody else is watching.

Most of all, I would tell her that she does not need to worry about forever.

One of the things that kept me stuck for years was the thought that if I stopped drinking, I had to somehow commit to never drinking again for the rest of my life. That felt impossible. What I eventually learned was that I did not need to solve the rest of my life on Day One. I only needed to focus on that day.

The days eventually took care of themselves.

Something else I wish I had known is that alcohol was never responsible for the things I thought it was. It did not make me more fun, more confident, more relaxed or more connected. Those qualities were already there. Over time, as I learned to navigate life without alcohol, I discovered that I could still laugh, celebrate, socialise, travel, connect with people and enjoy myself. In many ways, those experiences became richer because I was fully present for them instead of viewing them through the haze of alcohol.

The biggest change, though, was not in my social life or my health or even my sleep. The biggest change was the relationship I developed with myself.

For years, I had been breaking promises to myself and then wondering why my confidence felt shaky. Every time I said I would only have one or two drinks and then drank more, I chipped away at my own trust. Every time I woke up feeling disappointed, I reinforced the belief that I could not rely on myself.

Removing alcohol did not magically fix everything, but it gave me the opportunity to start rebuilding that trust one day at a time. Over time, I stopped seeing myself as someone who lacked willpower and started seeing myself as someone who was capable of making difficult decisions and following through on them.

Life did not become perfect. There were still hard days, stressful days, heartbreaking days and messy days because that is part of being human. The difference was that I was no longer trying to escape those experiences. I was learning how to move through them.

So if you are reading this on your own Day One, or perhaps on another Day One after a few false starts, this is the text I want you to receive.

You do not need to have everything figured out.

You do not need to know what your future looks like.

You do not need to worry about how you will feel next month or next year.

You simply need to focus on today and trust that the woman you are becoming is worth meeting.

She is closer than you think.

By: Caitlin Behrens