Rebuilding Self-Worth Without Alcohol
When I first stopped drinking, I expected cravings. I expected social awkwardness. I even expected a bit of FOMO. What I did not expect was the loud voice in my head constantly criticising me.
“You stuffed up again.”
“You never finish anything.”
“Who do you think you are, giving up wine?”
Sound familiar?
For many of us, alcohol was a plaster over years of self-doubt and harsh self-talk. When we remove it, we come face-to-face with the critic that was always there underneath, and it is exhausting.
The truth is, you are not broken, you are not weak, and you do not need to bully yourself into change.
Start With Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is not letting yourself off the hook. It is holding yourself with kindness and responsibility. It says, “Yes, this is hard. Yes, I am learning. And yes, I deserve support, not shame.”
Next time the inner critic pipes up, pause and ask, Would I say this to a friend? If not, then you should not say it to yourself either.
Instead, try saying:
“I am learning to do things differently.”
“I made a choice I do not feel good about, and I can choose differently
next time.”
“This journey matters, and so do I.”
The Inner Critic Gets Louder Before It Gets Quieter
Sometimes when you stop drinking, that voice gets louder before it quiets down. Why? Because you are no longer numbing it.
That is not a sign you are failing. It is a sign you are healing. Your awareness is growing and you are hearing the critic clearly now, which means you can start to challenge it.
The next step is not to argue with the critic but to care for the part of you that is afraid. Because that is all it really is, fear in disguise.
Practices to Support Your Self-Worth
If this is resonating, here are some simple ways you can start reconnecting with your worth and quietening that harsh inner voice:
Daily check-in: Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Not what you should do, but what would feel kind and helpful.
Affirmations: Not fluffy ones. Real ones. Like “I am allowed to grow at my own pace” or “I do not need alcohol to be enough.”
Alcohol Free Meditation & Support: I created two short practices to help with exactly this, and you can find them free on Insight Timer:
I made these for our community, and I cannot wait to share more meditations soon.
A Reminder for You
Remember, you are doing something brave and going against what society tells you in normal. Choosing to live sober curios or alcohol free means choosing to feel, to grow and to show up for yourself fully. It is not about being perfect, it is about being present.
Every time you respond to your inner critic with compassion, you strengthen your sense of worth. Every time you show up for yourself instead of reaching for a drink, you prove that you are capable of change.
By: Caitlin Behrens