How to Build Real Connection Without a Drink in Hand

Have you ever noticed how the moments we resist the most often lead to exactly what we need?

That was me last weekend. I almost talked myself out of going to an event where I didn’t know a single soul. It felt easier to stay in, keep it comfortable and avoid the awkwardness of small talk. But something nudged me to go and I’m so glad I did.

Stepping Into the Unknown

As someone who leans more toward the introverted side, I’ve always gravitated toward quiet catch-ups, cozy corners and deep one-on-one conversations. I usually avoid anything that feels too loud or crowded or “peoply.”

But last weekend, I challenged myself to do something different. I went to an alcohol free event without knowing a single person there.

And honestly, I’m so glad I did.

The energy was electric. Mocktails were flowing, conversations were buzzing and there was this beautiful, unspoken sense of safety and authenticity in the room.

I was surrounded by women who just got it, who were choosing presence over numbing and connection over convention.

It reminded me that real connection doesn’t come from having a drink in hand. It comes from being present. It comes from being open. And it comes from allowing ourselves to be seen just as we are.

Navigating Social Events Alcohol Free

Socialising without alcohol can feel intimidating, especially when you are used to relying on it to take the edge off or feel more confident in a group. But over time, I’ve learned a few things that really help:

Call ahead
I always check in with the venue ahead of time to ask what alcohol free options they offer. Most are happy to accommodate and some even love the chance to show off their mocktail game.

Bring your own
I’ve been known to sneak in my favourite alcohol free can of bubbles if I’m unsure what will be available. It’s about feeling prepared and confident.

Lead with curiosity
Ask others questions. People love to share their stories and feel seen. You will be amazed at how quickly conversations deepen when you are fully present.

Remind yourself: you belong there.
You don’t need alcohol to be interesting, likeable or fun. You being your authentic self is more than enough.

The Social Confidence Mindset Shift

Here’s a simple mindset shift exercise I return to when I feel a bit wobbly before a social event:

1. Name the feeling
   What am I actually nervous about? Not knowing anyone? Feeling awkward? Naming it takes away its power.
   

2. Flip the story
   Instead of “I need a drink to connect,” I remind myself, “I’m choosing to show up as my true self and that’s enough.”
   

3. Anchor in the body
   A few deep, steady breaths help regulate my nervous system and bring me back to calm.
   

You Deserve Real Connection

There’s something incredibly fulfilling about walking away from an event with a clear head, a full heart, and a deep sense of being truly seen.

Alcohol doesn’t create connection, we do. Through presence, courage and allowing ourselves to be open to the moment.

If taking a break from alcohol and connection is something you are craving more of in your life, I would love to invite you to join Sarah’s April 30 Day Alcohol Free Challenge. It’s a beautiful space to meet like-minded women, rediscover who you are without alcohol and build the kind of connections that fill you up in the most meaningful way. I will be there as a coach to support you and cheer you on all the way!

You don’t have to do this alone. And you don’t have to pretend to be anyone other than exactly who you are. That version of you… she’s more than enough.

By: Caitlin Behrens