Why We Need To Stop Talking About Moderation As An Aspirational Option
Why do we need to stop talking about moderation as an aspirational option? Because alcohol is one of the top 5 most addictive substances on earth, and ‘moderation’ for many drinkers is impossible. Big Alcohol would like us to believe ‘moderate’ drinking is an aspirational lifestyle. A glass of wine with dinner, a glass of bubbles at a party,that wine is the perfect way to unwind after a big day or a way to ‘treat’ ourselves…
Big Alcohol wants us to believe that moderation is possible, ‘normal’ and aspirational because then it won’t be Big Alcohol’s fault when moderation proves impossible. It will be OUR fault.
For so many grey area drinkers, moderation isn’t possible. One drink turns into many, Friday-only drinking turns into every night and very quickly ‘moderation’ becomes an impossible dream. No one looks to Big Alcohol to lay blame. Women blame themselves.
Women try helplessly to put rules around their drinking and ‘moderate’ only to fail. Over and over. They then feel weak, out of control, and keep wishing they could nail ‘moderation’ and live the aspirational lifestyle story Big Alcohol keeps telling them to live. Women who can’t moderate blame themselves. They forget alcohol is addictive, and for physiological reasons, find it virtually impossible to stop at one drink.
Alcohol companies spend billions of dollars every year making us think our lives with be boring, and lonely without alcohol. An aspirational life on the other hand includes festivity, bubbly drinks, smiles, laughter, togetherness, and glass-chinking success. We are bombarded with the messaging that alcohol is the only way to soothe yourself after a big day, unwind or give yourself ‘self-care’. This is especially true for mums.
Big Alcohol not only markets this directly but enjoys mums marketing this idea to other mums, enmasse. We are explosed to constant messaging via our favourite TV shows, Facebook memes and direct advertising that mummy needs wine!
When my clients come to me, usually the first thing they say is the desire to moderate their drinking… ‘I want to be the kind of person who can have two drinks at a birthday party. Or a glass of wine with my husband at dinner.’ Big Alcohol has sold them the aspirational story of a ‘normal’ drinker who lives a great life.
But they can’t…
The problem with moderation - and all the messaging that moderation is acceptable drinking - is that it’s just not possible for many people.
Here’s why many of us can’t do moderation (and why we need to stop blaming ourselves)…
* Alcohol impairs your judgement and memory by blocking your normal neurotransmitters. You get a false feeling “One more drink will be fine”. We don’t like the feeling of alcohol wearing off (which often leaves us feeling worse than before we started drinking) so we play catch up to try to relieve the impact of the first drink.
* Alcohol boosts dopamine levels so you feel great at first and you want to KEEP feeling great. It also alters other brain chemicals which then leave you feeling anxious and depressed both immediately after the effects of the first drink and also the next day.
Sobriety can feel like a relief for many people who struggle with moderation. It’s easier to stop altogether than wage a constant battle with themselves over when to drink and how much.
When you quit drinking, you have just one goal: No drinking. Consider what your life might be like without this inner battle over moderation. And look at where (exactly) the story of moderate drinking as an aspirational lifestyle is coming from…
P.S. If you’d like to give yourself a break from alcohol in a supportive environment, my next 30-Day Alcohol-Free Challenge starts in April and you can sign up here. It’s 30 days of accountability, community, and education. You’ll learn how to beat cravings and triggers, and create a life you won‘t want to numb yourself from.