The Top 5 Triggers (And How to Navigate Them) as We Head into the Festive Season
As the festive season gets closer, many women are confronted by triggers that make staying alcohol-free especially challenging. The stretch from Christmas through New Year’s is filled with unique pressures - whether it's reconnecting with old friends or managing family dynamics (anything drive us to want a drink more than an entire day with our extended family?!), the temptation to drink can feel overwhelming. Here’s a look at five common triggers during this time and effective strategies to navigate them...
1. Catching Up with Old Friends Who Have Strong Alcohol Associations
The holidays often mean reunions with old friends, and for many, these friendships are linked with drinking rituals. Research shows peer influence plays a significant role in drinking behaviours, with social norms and habits developed among friends carrying a strong influence over time. For many of us, we don’t do anything but drink with certain old friends over Christmas. It feels like every catch up and every event at this time of year is focused around alcohol. “We must catch up for a drink before Christmas” is all I seem to hear at the moment whether I’m at the school gate, the gym or the supermarket!
How to Navigate This Trigger:
Set Boundaries: Be proactive about suggesting alcohol-free catch ups. Meeting for coffee, a walk, or breakfast can help create new, healthier associations with these relationships. Not every social catch up has to be in the pub!
Bring Your Own: If you’re going to an event with friends where you know alcohol will be everywhere, take your own alcohol-free drinks. Studies show that having a similar-looking drink can reduce social pressure (and anxiety!) and, of course, lessen the likelihood of being repeatedly offered alcohol.
Stand Your Ground: Be prepared to assertively but briefly explain your choice to avoid alcohol. A simple “I’m taking a break from drinking” is usually enough and allows you to maintain control over your choice. Keep it simple, brief, and stand your ground. In my book Beyond Booze, How to Create A Life You Love Alcohol Free I’ve devoted an entire chapter to navigating our relationships and friendships when you’re sober with all my top tips and strategies of what worked best for me. Check it out here.
2. Faded Affect Bias: “I Wasn’t That Bad!”
Faded Affect Bias (FAB) is a cognitive bias where negative emotions associated with past events fade more quickly than positive ones. During the holidays, this can lead to forgetting the anxiety, the exhaustion and often the guilt over past drinking experiences so all we remember is the good part (usually only the first 20 mins of having a drink and then it all starts to go downhill!).
How to Navigate This Trigger:
Play It Forward: Consider how you have felt in the past after big boozy festive catch-ups. And consider how you want to feel. Studies show that women who visualise the potential outcomes are better able to make healthier decisions. Reflect on past hangovers and remember that waking up refreshed feels so much better than struggling through the day. And also, when that pesky voice creeps in, whispering in your ear, “Go on, you can just have one, one isn’t THAT bad, why are you denying yourself ONE?” it’s important to remember – when was it ever ‘just one.’
If you have a history (like me) of always drinking more than you intend, then the chances are it will never just be one. It will ALWAYS be more and with those extra drinks comes the poor sleep, next day anxiety and negative self talk that accompanies breaking our own drinking rules. Remind that pesky voice ‘I know it won’t be just one because once I’ve had one I always want more, so I’m choosing to say NO to that first one.’
I love the quote ‘I say No to the first drink because that’s usually the only one I CAN say no to!’
Keep a list: Keep a list of all the benefits you have noticed from periods of being alcohol-free in your life. Keep checking back on your list when FAB sets in. Remind yourself you have more energy, are calmer with your kids, feel less anxious and more positive.
And remember, those cravings for a drink are short and sharp and pass quickly. Distract yourself in the moment and you will be surprised how quickly they really do pass.
3. “But It’s Christmas!”
One of the most powerful triggers is the idea that “it’s Christmas” - a season where indulgence is encouraged. From ads showing clinking glasses of champagne to family traditions that include copious amounts of booze, the holiday messaging is strong. This social pressure is often amplified by family and friends who don’t understand the choice to abstain.
How to Navigate This Trigger:
Focus on the Gains: Research tells us positive framing can significantly increase resilience. Instead of seeing sobriety as missing out, focus on the benefits you gain - better health, clarity, more energy, glowing skin, saving money, more time, less bloating and more meaningful connections. There is no better feeling than waking up in the morning with a clear head and full of energy. It’s that feeling that has motivated me to stay alcohol free all these years. I just can’t bear to waste another moment of my life hungover and wishing the day away. These special Christmas experiences are to be treasured, enjoyed and celebrated – not wished away. And the joy of being so present and content with our children is a wonderful gift to them as well.
Plan Activities that Don’t Involve Alcohol: Suggest alternatives like carol concerts, shopping, outdoor activities, or watching Christmas movies with popcorn!
Check in with yourself: Think about how you want to FEEL this Christmas - tired, anxious, hungover, and bloated, probably isn't on top of your list. Get really clear with how alcohol makes you feel and keep that list handy as a reminder.
4. “I’ll Just Drink Through the Christmas to New Year’s Week”
The week between Christmas and New Years can feel like a limbo period where typical routines are paused, making it easy to slip into daily drinking. This period is often seen as an extension of the holiday spirit, contributing to a “why not?” mentality. Then we spiral.
How to Navigate This Trigger:
Set Mini Goals: Studies indicate that goal setting can effectively increase motivation and reduce impulsivity. Set small, daily goals for the week, such as staying hydrated, exercising, or accomplishing a task each day. These goals help maintain structure and a sense of purpose.
Practice Mindfulness: Research shows that mindfulness can significantly reduce cravings by focusing on the present moment without judgment. Take time each day to reflect, journal, or practice breathing exercises to manage stress and reset intentions.
Celebrate Without Alcohol: Remind yourself that festivities don’t need to include alcohol. Plan a special dinner, take a day trip, or engage in a hobby you love to capture the holiday spirit in ways that don’t involve drinking.
5. “My Family is Driving Me Crazy!”
Family dynamics can be one of the most difficult aspects of the holidays. According to studies, family stress is one of the leading reasons people drink alcohol during holiday gatherings! Trying to manage differing opinions, expectations, and pressures can be overwhelming.
How to Navigate This Trigger:
Create a Buffer: If interactions with certain family members tend to be stressful, take breaks. Excuse yourself for a walk, listen to music, or take time to yourself to reset.
Establish Boundaries: Know that it’s okay to set emotional or conversational boundaries. Politely steer conversations away from topics that cause stress, and if necessary, plan an “escape” time to leave the gathering.
Have a Sober Friend: Identifying someone who understands your commitment to staying alcohol-free can be incredibly helpful. Reach out to a friend for a quick chat or keep a group message going with others who are also navigating a sober holiday season. To join my amazing facebook community ‘The Women’s Wellbeing Collective – click HERE
Stress relief toolkit: Have a toolkit of stress busters that feel right for you. One of my favourites is this 20 min yoga nidra or, try 6 rounds of box breathing, HERE.
Try to book in some time to yourself - a massage, reflexology, sauna, exercise class, go to bed early and make sure you're getting enough sleep. My book Beyond Booze How to Create a Life You Love Alcohol-Free has lots of tips for managing stress without drinking.
Those Christmas cravings…
To minimise cravings, eat well, get enough sleep, exercise, and do not skip taking time out for yourself (no matter how busy you get!). We are far more likely to crave alcohol if we are tired, stressed, and eating a lot of processed food. If the festive season makes you nervous and your sobriety is at risk, don’t abandon your routines. A healthy morning routine that includes exercise and journaling is especially important to set you up for the day.
A joyful, healthy, and best-ever festive season is achievable with the right strategies and mindset. Remember that while drinking triggers will pop up, each one is an opportunity to flex your sober muscle and build your resilience. Join my free Facebook community The Women’s Wellbeing Collective for a safe and supportive community. You can grab of copy of my book Beyond Booze How to Create a Life You Love Alcohol Free here.