5 Years Alcohol Free: Here’s How I Feel
I’ve been 5 years alcohol free. Wow. That's half a decade of living life without alcohol. For the champagne-loving, cigarette-smoking version of me from the past, this is so hard to believe. And not just that, I don’t miss it one bit!
Here are some of my reflections as I hit the 5-year sober mark…
Coping with stress
First, I’ve changed my approach to stress. I’ve developed new and healthy ways to manage stress so that I deal with (rather than avoid) the stressors, and support myself through difficult situations quickly and effectively. I always say to the ladies in my coaching programs 'the goal isn't to never struggle as that's not realistic, but the goal is to struggle well.' I'm far better at knowing what I need in any given moment, can consider my options for my next step, and dig deep into my toolkit. When I was drinking, I simply avoided, distracted, and stuck my head in the sand.
I felt a million times worse the next day and so drank to make that feeling so away - and repeat, and repeat. As a result of having new ways to manage stress, the stress passes so much quicker, and I quickly return to my calmer 'baseline'.
Healthy boundaries
I’ve learnt to say No which has put an end to people pleasing, and I've stopped always putting others needs before my own. As a result, I have more time, energy, and joy in my life. Some may call this ‘selfish’ but the truth is; the people who matter the most get the best of me because I am able to prioritise myself.
I am also role modelling to both my son and daughter that it's okay for mum to take time for herself and do things that make her happy. I don't want my son growing up to think women always need to be at home doing everything for everyone else and I don't want my daughter growing up thinking she can never take time for herself.
Positive role modelling
My relationship with my kids has completely changed and I can now role model to them healthy tools to manage difficult situations (instead of them just watching me reach for a drink) and we have such a deeper and more authentic relationship. My son is 14 and I'm sure he will become curious about alcohol soon. I can't believe I was drinking regularly when I was his age. But I have the tools and knowledge to navigate that when the time comes. But most importantly, I've modelled to my kids that adults CAN have fun without alcohol, and they don't see me always with alcohol in hand when I'm socialising.
Trust and self-belief
I have a level of self-trust and self-belief that I’ve never had before. It’s hard to trust yourself if you always break your own promises (“I’m NOT drinking tonight…. Oh, go on, I will just have one” was the soundtrack of my life). With this self-belief comes self-confidence and more willingness to push out of my comfort zone, take on new challenges and create a bigger, more interesting, and exciting life.
Overall wellbeing
My overall health is the best it’s ever been. I’ve lost weight, sleep well, have tonnes of energy, glowing skin (sobriety is the best anti-ageing secret out there!) and feel stronger than ever. I’m running my first marathon this year. A goal I’ve had since I was 22. At 48 I will finally achieve it. This wouldn't have happened if I was still drinking.
Sobriety is a career superpower
My achievements in my career have been mind-blowing. In recruitment and career coaching I achieved more in my first year of sobriety than I had in the previous 10 years. I then switched careers and retrained as a health and grey area drinking coach where I’ve supported thousands of individuals to change their relationship with alcohol. I’ve just published a best-selling book Beyond Booze: How To Create A Life You Love Alcohol Free.
I've realised that most people have no idea how much alcohol is impacting their career performance as they never take a long enough break from it to see the difference. Even if we are drinking in small amounts, it's still impacting our sleep and causing mild anxiety. And who shows up with optimal performance when they are tired and anxious? Alcohol is a superpower in the workplace!
A boost in energy, confidence, and motivation
Alcohol keeps us small. In every aspect of our lives – as parents, workers, and partners we can never give our best performance when we are drinking regularly even if it’s not a huge amount. We stay stuck in old patterns, moaning and berating our lives but lacking the energy, drive, and motivation to change. Months and years go by, and nothing changes, and we become more disillusioned, more unfulfilled, and more deflated.
This one change, removing alcohol, can and does have a HUGE impact in our lives. We grow in confidence, our energy increases, our motivation increases, and we start showing up as our best selves. Who doesn’t want that!
NONE of this would have happened if I was still drinking. Alcohol held me back so much from living my best life. I just didn’t know it. Do I miss it? Not one bit! If you’d like to change your relationship with alcohol, reach out to me here and check out my programs here.