10 Questions EVERYONE Asks When You Quit Drinking
IF you’ve quit drinking, prepare yourself for 10 questions EVERYONE asks. They swing from ‘Are you an alcoholic?’ to Why can’t you have one drink?’ and ‘Isn’t sobriety really boring?’ Drinkers are often confronted, bewildered, and uncomfortable around sobriety and the awkward questions get blurted out. Not sure what to say? I’ve got you!
The 10 questions EVERYONE asks when you quit drinking – and what to say
How much were you actually drinking?
I get it. This gives people permission to think "Phew, I don’t drink that much, I don’t need to stop". But it’s not about how much I was drinking. For me, it was about how alcohol was making me feel. It was about the lack of sleep, the anxiety, and self-loathing the next day.
What to say: ‘It’s not about how much, it’s about how it was making me feel’.
Why don’t you just have one drink?
We don’t ask ex-heroin addicts or smokers to ‘Just have one’ but we always ask drinkers who say they are taking a break to have ‘Just one’. For me, it was so much easier to have nothing than to ‘Just have one’.
What to say: ‘I don’t do moderation.’
You weren’t that bad, were you?
I remember telling a close friend I was going to stop drinking for good. She didn’t understand. On the outside, I was high functioning. Yes, I drank a lot, but to the outside world, there were no obvious signs of my deep inner turmoil about my drinking or about my sense of self-worth. So yes, I really was that bad. I just hid it well.
What to say: ‘Drinking was taking away more than it was giving back, and that was bad for me.’
Isn’t sobriety really boring?
I love things now that I would have scoffed at – early mornings, early nights, sunrise, sunset, yoga, meditating, long walks with a girlfriend, a new teapot with a great new tea flavor, cuddling up on the sofa with my kids watching a movie.
What to say: ‘I take so much joy in the simple things that I missed completely when I was drinking.’
Doesn’t it take so much willpower?
No. It takes re-framing your thought process around alcohol so that you don’t even want it anymore. It takes seeing it for what it is and what it’s robbing you of, to then realize why you are so much better off without it. It’s a choice. I choose not to drink.
What to say: ‘It’s a choice, not willpower.’
Do your relationships change with friends and partners?
If your relationships have been mostly focused around boozing then they are going to be very different once you stop. It takes a period of adjustment. It can be rocky and confusing. But as far as my relationship goes, we have worked at it and we are (one day at a time) stronger than we have been for years.
What to say? ‘You’ve got to make relationships work in a new way.’
Do you still go out and socialize?
I was never one to stay home and I love getting dressed up. The first 20 minutes are really clunky. I feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable and the old habit of wanting a drink in hand to get ‘in the mood’ takes a while to pass. Then I settle into it and relax and enjoy. I am so much more comfortable in my own skin.
What to say: ‘These days I care less about what others think and more about what I want and need.’
What have been the greatest changes?
I’ve learnt about myself, about what alcohol was doing to me and why. I’ve learnt about why I drank so much in the first place, about why I reacted to things the way I did. I’ve been able to forgive myself for past mistakes. I’ve done some healing and I feel more content than ever before. I have also learnt so much about society and human nature and alcohol and the marketing behind it and how we have been duped for so long. With that comes a sense of pride, achievement, and confidence.
How did you do it?
Community – Find a sober community to join. You can join my Facebook Group - The Women’s Wellbeing Collective, where we talk about Sobriety and wellness for women, you will be welcomed with open arms. The most honest, humble, non-judgemental, and brilliant people I’ve met.
Books – I read so many sobriety books and they helped me so much. The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, The Sober Diaries, Alcohol Explained and Sober Positive.
Podcasts – Listening to podcasts and walking got me through the first 6 months of sobriety.Getting clear on Why – You have to know why you are doing it. You have to be really clear on that. That is what will stop you reaching for a drink when the cravings come.
Do you know you will never drink again?
Sobriety is the greatest gift I have ever given myself and my kids. My life now is more fulfilling, rewarding, engaging, and authentic than ever before. This didn’t happen overnight. This took work, effort, and commitment. But doesn’t everything that is worth having?
What to say: ‘You can’t unlearn what you know to be true and if sobriety is true for you, then you just know.’
Xx Sarah
P.S. Need some extra support? My April Alcohol Free Challenge is just around the corner! It starts April 1 – I’d love to see you there! Join HERE.
Join the next Alcohol Free Program!
Want to explore taking a break from booze? Come and join my infamous 30-Day Alcohol Free Program, next one starts soon!