Discovering Who You REALLY Are Without Booze with Sober Dave
Sober Dave quit drinking after 40 years and discovered that stopping was the easy part. The real work was figuring out who he was without it.
In this conversation, Dave and I unpack the identity void that follows sobriety, why moderation almost never works, how to grieve the “relationship” you had with alcohol, and what to say to a partner who won’t admit their drinking is a problem.
The big ideasKey Takeaways
- 01The hardest part of quitting isn’t the quitting, it’s figuring out who you are afterwards.
- 02Moderation almost never works. One non-negotiable rule shuts down the daily bargaining voice that talks you into “just one”.
- 03Old triggers can still catch you off guard years in, and grief and loss can be processed without reaching for a drink.
- 04You don’t need to hit rock bottom or call yourself an alcoholic to decide you’ve outgrown drinking.
Jump straight inEpisode Chapters
- Introduction: What Comes After You Stop Drinking
- Dave’s Story: 40 Years Of Drinking And The Year It All Fell Apart
- The Pink Cloud And The Slump That Follows It
- Why Sobriety Feels Like Grieving A Relationship
- Why Old Triggers Still Catch You Years Later
- Why You Can’t Just Moderate
- The Non-Negotiable Rule That Ends The Bargaining
- Understanding Your Attachment Style And Why You Drank
- What To Say When Your Husband Won’t Admit He Has A Problem
- When Sobriety Costs You Your Marriage
- Why Women Feel Guilty Taking Time For Themselves
- Practical Sobriety vs Emotional Sobriety
- Grieving A Death Without Alcohol
- Self-Worth, Shame, And Looking In The Mirror Again
- How To Know If You’ve Truly Outgrown Alcohol
- Who Dave Is Now, Beyond “Sober Dave”
Tap a chapter to watch from that moment on YouTube
Meet your guestSober Dave
Sober Dave is a UK-based sobriety coach and the voice behind the Sober Dave brand. After 40 years of drinking, he quit alcohol for good in January 2019.
He now works with people navigating the emotional side of sobriety, drawing on internal family systems and attachment theory, and hosts his own podcast, One For The Road, sharing ongoing conversations about life beyond alcohol.
- Website: soberdave.co.uk
- Instagram: @soberdave
Sarah Rusbatch is an accredited Health and Wellbeing Coach and one of Australia’s leading experts on grey area drinking. Her podcast, Stronger, Bolder, Wiser, is the go-to space for women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, navigating life alcohol-free, or simply curious about what life could look like on the other side of the bottle.
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