The Best Sex of Your Life Could Still Be Ahead of You. Here's Why with Sex Therapist Jacqueline Hellyer
What if the “lost libido” you’ve been blaming on age, hormones or your relationship was never actually about desire at all?
In this episode I sit down with renowned sex and relationship therapist Jacqueline Hellyer to talk about one of the most common things I hear from women in my community: “I just don’t want sex anymore.” Jacqueline breaks down the myth of spontaneous desire, why so many of us have only ever known unsatisfying sex, and how real intimacy starts long before you get to the bedroom. It’s an honest, eye-opening and at times very funny conversation about reclaiming pleasure, connection and power at any age.
The big ideasKey Takeaways
- 01Most women experience responsive desire, not spontaneous desire, so “not in the mood” doesn’t mean your libido is gone.
- 02Connection has to be warmed up long before the bedroom. Without it, sex feels like a chore.
- 03Sex can get better after menopause, and owning your body and your sexual power in midlife starts with an honest conversation.
Jump straight inEpisode Chapters
- Spontaneous vs Responsive Desire
- The Pressure on Men Nobody Talks About
- The Real Reason Humans Have Sex So Much
- Why Couples Never Talk About Sex Anymore
- The Connection Thermostat: Why You Need 70 Degrees Before Sex
- Why Sex Gets Better After Menopause
- Stop Hating Your Body: What Aging Actually Looks Like
- What Men Actually Want in Bed
- How to Start the Intimacy Conversation with Your Partner
- Owning Your Sexual Power in Midlife
Tap a chapter to watch from that moment on YouTube
Meet your guestJacqueline Hellyer
Jacqueline Hellyer is a sex and relationship therapist with over two decades of experience helping individuals and couples build deeper intimacy and more fulfilling sex lives. She runs couples retreats and an online program, The Couples Intimacy Masterclass, and is known for her warm, no-nonsense approach to topics most people are too embarrassed to talk about.
She writes a weekly essay, The Erotic Provocateur, on Substack, has nearly 400 articles on her blog, and is working on a book of the same name.
- Website: thelovelifeclinic.com
- Instagram: @jacqueline.hellyer
Sarah Rusbatch is an accredited Health and Wellbeing Coach and one of Australia’s leading experts on grey area drinking. Her podcast, Stronger, Bolder, Wiser, is the go-to space for women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, navigating life alcohol-free, or simply curious about what life could look like on the other side of the bottle.
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